Once upon a time, there were two loving and inseparable sisters by the name of Julie and Nancy that cared deeply about each other. So much so in fact; that most people would often mistake them as twins rather than sisters. Not that they minded much anyhow, such was their bond of love.
By the time they were both in their late teens - they already had big plans and even bigger dreams to make their mark on the world. Julie wanted to care for people by becoming a nurse and tending to the sick and weary, whilst Nancy wanted to make a positive difference in the community by becoming a teacher for children with special learning needs.
Firmly believing that good deeds required action rather than hollow words, they set off on their chosen careers in two entirely different cities. Julie started her vocation as a nurse off in London, whilst Nancy opted for a teaching college in Glasgow. For a while they made a sincere effort to stay in touch as much as they could to offer each other some much needed sisterly support and encouragement. But before either of them actually realized it - their studies and their personal lives had taken them off in two entirely different directions.
Despite this separation they both did incredibly well in their chosen careers. Julie possessed a wonderful empathy with the patients under her care and Nancy successfully turned around most of the troubled teenagers that came through her classrooms over the years. Often making a huge difference in their lives that was beyond both measure and words. Yet both of them were blissfully unaware of the positive impact they had made in the lives of the many people they had met and cared for over the years, for neither of them were in it for the recognition, merely to play their small part in the world around them.
Marriage and children quickly followed suit for the sisters. Sadly though, Nancy grew apart from her husband over the years, as he was always a little too quick to criticize, condemn and complain about her every move. Despite doing absolutely nothing wrong on her part! Naturally, she tried for the sake of the children to make the marriage work, but it takes two to tango and as her husband thought of no one but himself, he made that an impossible thing for her to do. In despair she turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism and eventually years later wound up thinking the same way about herself as her thoughtless, self-serving and emotionally abusive husband did of her. Through it all she wanted to pick up the phone and call her sister, but felt like a failure and undeserving of love. Something none of us ever are in the eyes of God.
Eventually there came a point when she was no longer getting through to the troubled teenagers she so desperately wanted to help. The alcohol had dulled her senses to such a point that she was a mere shadow of her former self and, worse still, she spent most of the day feeling sorry for herself rather than accept personal responsibility for where she was currently at. True, her husband had initially driven her to this dark point in her life, but it was up to her alone to move through her current darkness to a place of love and light. Something we all have to come to realize at one point or another on our personal journey called the story of our life.
In desperation she picked up the phone in tears and called out to her sister Julie, unburdening herself of all the years of abuse she had endured at the hands of someone undeserving of her love. Julie lovingly listened to her and then told her in no uncertain terms that she had one of two choices to make. Continue to wallow in self pity and descend yet further into a well of deep despair, or remind herself of what it was she possessed inside that made her "truly" special.
Something I might add that too few of us do in times of difficulty, desolation and disappointment. Tears continued to stream down the side of her face, yet the sound of her sister's voice on the line filled her with a sense of inner knowing she had not recognized or worn in years, but nevertheless it was still there as strong as ever, ready and waiting to be called upon. Much like a favorite sweater hidden at the back of our wardrobe that still fits us perfectly after years of absent neglect.
In reality, it wasn't that Nancy hadn't known what to do all this time. She just seemed to lack the courage to change. Or the faith needed in self to see that change through to completion on her ownsome. Now that she knew she had the love and support of her sister again, she accepted that our choices in life reveal far more about us as a person than our abilities ever will. So, with that thought in mind, she purposely made her way into the kitchen and began to pour away the last of her stock of hidden alcohol. Thinking as she did - that all of her problems were fast disappearing down the sink along with the alcohol. Her insecurities, her failed marriage, her troubles at work and whatever else was standing in her way were no longer going to control her. For once, she was going to take the bull by the horns and control them.
It would be foolish to say that things went terrific at first, or were as easy to overcome as she might have at first imagined they were going to be. For they were far from that at times! But again, nothing really worth doing is ever easy to accomplish first time round. All the same she persevered and refused to make excuses for her faults or moments of weakness as she went about making the changes in her life she knew she had to make if she was ever going to successfully turn her life properly around.
Slowly but surely she eventually started to feel things take a positive turn for the better. Her troubled teens were the first to notice the shift in her demeanor. The way she smiled more and frowned less, threw herself fully into her job and genuinely cared once again about other people.
Then, surprisingly; her boss noticed the change in her demeanor as did her other colleagues. It wasn't long before just about everyone around her noticed the change and were drawn to her like a beacon of light in the night. For it's true to say that people really enjoy being around happy, positive personalities. Yet they'll run a mile from anyone that walks around with a cloud of despair and disappointment over their head. Thankfully, we all get to choose which one we'd prefer to be.
Her EX-husband even tried to reconnect with her again, but she was having none of it. Nancy had learned the hard way what really matters in life. Who and what never did! Who and what didn't anymore; as well as what always will. That's love of self and others, that nothing of value ever comes easily, we ALL need help in one way or another and that there is ALWAYS someone we can turn to in times of need. Be that your sister, a good friend or GOD himself. But, you do need to reach out first and actually ask for that help. People aren't mind readers and are often are too busy with their own lives to fully appreciate what's going on in ours.
Remember: We are ALL worthy and anyone that intentionally holds you back or puts you down has no place in your heart, your home or your life. Love yourself enough to find the courage to change!
(C) Charles Anthony McFaulds
